Imperfectlyperfect

Hey readers! So when I started writing this blog at the beginning of summer I wasn't sure where it would go or how long I would keep it up. This week I moved back to college and with the start of the new semester looming I know I'm going to have even less time to do blogging things. However I'm not planning to stop completely. I'll try to do an update post about once a week.  So here's an update so far. On Sunday my mom drove me over to college, we stopped at Panera for lunch and she helped me move in. I had trouble finding my room at first because I forgot the number and ended up knocking on random people's doors which was just slightly embarrassing. This yr I'm living with 2 other girls instead of one. It's definitely going to be an adjustment because I'm used to having a lot of time and space to myself but I'm taking it one step at a time.  We had to come a week early to work at the dining hall on campus. I've been off yesterday an...

Intuitive eating is such a long journey that I'm still learning about. I'm pretty good at knowing when I'm hungry or when I have low blood sugar and I'm good at knowing what I want to eat.  But I have a really hard time going away from a meal or snack without wanting to eat more of something else. Often I will eat small bites of other food or snacks in my room.  I'm not really sure why I do this but it's something I'm learning to be aware of without being judgmental with myself. I think still being hungry or unsatisfied is definitely part of the reason I don't want to stop eating. For now doing a little bit of snacking after a meal is the way I eat and I'm okay with that. I believe every person eats in a way that is unique to them and as long as it isn't causing emotional or physical distress or health problems there's no reason to change your habits.  typical greek yogurt and banana smoothie with pb&j toast  We...

Friday: Worked from 6-11. Had fun being silly in the backyard with my mom and brother. I was planning to go for my normal run on the treadmill but was tired from getting up early and decided not to.  Saturday: I did my normal workout which consists of running and stretching. Then I had to do some adult stuff and getting my banking and credit card system better under control. Then I went bra shopping at Victoria's Secret which I've never done before but I needed a new bra and I wanted a high quality one.  Sunday: I had been hoping to help my mom and brother with the breakfast setup at our church but I got scheduled to work at 6:30 so I went to work until 3 and then I was really tired. I've been trying to finish up the Karen Kingsbury book and Intuitive Eating book I've been reading. Then I helped my family sort through change they had saved up and it came out to $81. I also tried to make a pb pie from Chocolate Covered Katie's recipe. It turned out ok....

Less than two weeks until I go back to school! So excited for the new semester and to see friends but also sad to see summer go.  Today I went for a 2 hr walk with my friend at the park which was really nice. Perfect weather and perfect friendship.  Here's what I ate yesterday. I also sometimes eat bites of food that aren't shown. Had to get up at 5am for work. Ate the crackers and milk in the car and the nut bar and apple on break later that morning.  turkey burger with guacamole, quinoa  A piece of this cheesecake from chocolate covered katie's recipe.  My family didn't like this because it was made with greek yogurt and wasn't sweet enough, and i'll agree it doesn't exactly taste like the cheesecake they're used to so I'm freezing it and I'll probably eat it periodically.  Chipotle! We had a buy one get one free coupon which was fun. I try to avoid getting the super spicy ingredients, but I somehow end up ...

I want to be thinner, more beautiful, and ultimately more attractive than you are!  Is that a prideful statement or what? Of course I would never say this to anyone's face but in my heart I know it's the truth.  Often my thoughts are not statements I'm telling myself but rather ideas mixed with feelings. For this reason it's taken me a while to actually get to the core of my obsession with comparing myself to other people and desiring to look a certain way.  For years I've known that my eating disorder was sin but I never really understood why. How was it wrong to want to look and be my best (inaccurately defined as the thinnest I could be)? How was it wrong to want to eat healthy and exercise?  I've always known I was an insecure person whether it's related to my physical appearance, my social skills, or my ability to perform in certain tasks or activities. But is low self esteem sinful? Yes and no. I think it truly depends on the situation and ...