5 Ways I'm learning to be ok with my body

Body image isn't about the way you look. It's about the way you think you look. 

#notmypicture 

I'm a very average person with an average BMI.

I've come a long way in accepting how my body looks. See, I still wish that I was thinner but I'm able to recognize that it's my mindset that needs to be changed not my body. I know that where I am right now is at a healthy place physically and mentally.  I also know that my body can't function well past a certain weight. Some people's bodies can but mine cannot and that's 100% ok.

1. Getting help. 

The right kind of help. I've been to counselors in the past and they never really helped me. 

But my counselor at college was used to working with people with eating disorders and she helped me tremendously through my recovery. 

She also recommended I take zoloft for my anxiety and obsessive thoughts which I think has really helped me. 

2. Learning about intuitive eating 

Part of my issues with food in high school stemmed from me feeling the lack of freedom to eat what I wanted when I wanted.

 I never thought I could trust my body and because I was being told that I needed to gain weight, I would make myself eat more than I was hungry for which often made my body image issues worse. 

Be at a higher, healthier weight for my body has been helpful in allowing me to freedom to enjoy eating and explore food in different ways. 

Also I think the meds I mentioned have helped a lot in the rigid thinking I used to have regarding food. 

3. Reading recovery blogs 

These women have helped me know that I'm not alone and have also helped me view the human body from a different perspective.  Here are some which have really helped me. 
https://www.thereallife-rd.com/category/body-image/
https://naomiwhyroots.com/
http://emilyanneswanson.com/

Also this video 
https://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell_looks_aren_t_everything_believe_me_i_m_a_model#t-550853


4. Taking this slowly 

I didn't know my weight until last year for quite some time. 

While I was gaining weight and going through recovery the first two years in my college career I agreed to not know my weight. This was helpful and I was able to process through restoring my body  without knowing how much weight I was gaining.

 Last yr when I decided to find out my weight, it upset me because I'd never see that number as high as it was. It was definitely a shock. 

But over the past year I've maintained that same weight and now I'd say I've more or less gotten used to it and accepted it as my new normal. Knowing that this is where my body functions best. 



5. Thinking about my beliefs rationally 

First of all using the term "thin" or "skinny" is very relative. 

I still want to be thought of by others as skinny but I realize whether or not someone thinks I'm skinny is very relative to either what others look like or what I used to look like. This is not a reliable assessment of truth!

 Even if I lost as much weight as I possible could without dying, there would no doubt still be people who are skinnier than me. Honestly it's that way with pretty much everything in life. They will always be at least someone who's smarter, better liked, taller, thinner, stronger, faster, etc. So why should I try to compete in a game I will never win? I'm not meant to be compared to anyone else. 

But then that brings up the question of comparing myself to myself. Sometime I will look back at pictures of myself and wish I looked like that again. Even when I weighed 20 pounds less than I currently do I was just as unhappy with my body if not more so. This to me is evidence that thin will never be thin enough in my mind. 

But I want to be honest and let you guys know there are still times and circumstances in which I find myself overanalyzing me body. Often it's when I wear certain clothes, or when I feel insecure or stressed or unhappy by other things in life. Looking at pictures of myself from a few years ago is probably one of the hardest things to do without negatively comparing my current body to my previous one. 

Body image acceptance is a longs, often bumpy journey. But it's one that we are on together. 

Feel free to post questions or comments