Controversial Topic Part 1

Ok so I only took this pic of what I ate yesterday which was brownie dip from Chocolate Covered Katie's recipe. Love her website so much!!! 

Chocolate Covered Katie


But I'm gonna try really hard to remember to take pics of my food today and post them tomorrow even though it won't officially be WIAW. 

This week I'm working close to 40 hrs even though I'm part time. I like having more free time on my hands but I'm hoping this is only temporary cause 2 people are on vacation. And next week I'll be on vacation. 

So I wanted to share today my thoughts about marriage. First of all I need to say that I struggle almost daily with disappointment over having never had a boyfriend. Continually I remind myself that God knows what he's doing and I can trust him. When he knows the timing is right he will bring the right man into my life. But even if he does not I can have peace and contentment. 

See in theory I know that a boyfriend may bring me temporary happiness but will not give me the self worth, confidence, joy and peace that I can only find in God. In theory I know that any human relationship is bound to disappoint me because humans aren't perfect. In theory I know that God is the only one who will never disappoint me. 

But my emotions don't care what my mind tells them. They do their own thing. Anytime they see a Christian and/or good looking guy they wonder if he's single and if he likes me and if we will end up getting married.

See aside from my brother and dad I've never interacted with boys much. Part of this is because I came from a small school and have never had the opportunity to interact with boys at college. By nature I'm a black and white person so I'm having a hard time knowing how to be friends with guys without thinking of them as a potential boyfriend. For the past several years I'ver tried to avoid boys or only talk to them if they talk to me because it messed with my emotions too much. But I came to the realization on Saturday that maybe there is another way. Maybe instead of disregarding boys because it's not the right time for a boyfriend, I can simply disregard the notion of having a boyfriend and view boys as normal humans. For me this is much easier said than done but it's a step in the right direction. 

Also I just need to express my anger at the secular world right now, specifically in their view of marriage. I work with all females so guess what the most likely topic of conversation is? They don't understand that sex is only meant for marriage because it represents exclusive commitment. They don't understand that a relationship based on lust doesn't last. They don't understand that God gives us instructions ultimately for our own benefit. It's not up to me to communicate this to them unless they ask (which they haven't). 

Media also diminishes marriage. Secular music. So, so much of it is about relationships of sex and "love" and cheating. Movies. They make me so angry when they ruin a perfectly good movie with a sex scene. The Bachelor? I get it's entertaining. I watched a few episodes of it myself because it is entertaining but it's terrible entertainment purely focused on physical aspects  and relationships that evidently don't last. The thing that really hit me was last night when I was watching America's Got Talent and one of the "themes" was about how random girls were lusting after the judge Simon. I was just like Are you serious right now? Just stop. This is so stupid. So unnecessary. So pointless. He's married! 

This gets me really fired up but I have to admit that because I'm so against sexual impurity, I get embarrassed  really easily and don't know what to do if my emotions decide they're attracted to a guy who is taken. I'm still learning how to deal with this. But I just want to encourage you to not get swept into the lie that just because the whole world says sex outside of marriage is normal that it's okay. It's not. 

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. -Ephesians 5:3 


Also here's a link to a really cool song about this topic 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZsO6M2eRkE