Life Update 9/17

Here we go... 

College Life- I really like this semester so far compared to all other semesters. Everyday I thank God for the friends he's brought into my life. People I can literally  be myself with because growing up I was never able to do that. Loving my nutrition and psych classes. Haven't had much homework which is weird considering this is supposed to be a hard year. 

Thing I don't like-Working at my school dining hall. It's just really boring and long. 

Food and Body- So I can honestly say I'm at the best place I ever have been with intuitive eating and having peace with food. I'm learning to listen and respect my body. Sometimes I'm really hungry so I eat more than I normally do. Sometimes I'm not super hungry but I eat a lot because I have a strong appetite. There's a BIG difference between appetite and hunger. Sometimes I'm really busy and or lots of food isn't available so I don't eat as much. Mostly I eat salads and beans and chicken and yogurt and all the healthy foods you can fit into a list but  I also eat snacking chocolate every day and sometimes I crave nutella so I eat some of that. It feels so good to be able to eat with freedom and being able to trust my body. It reminds me of the definition of normal eating that I was introduced to at the age of 13. At that time I thought it was ridiculous but now I get it. You might have heard of this before but if you haven't here it is. 

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be under-eating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.-Ellyn Satter 

My body Image is a different story. This week in lab we measured our body composition and it was a lot harder for me than I thought it would be. Especially because some of my friends have much lower bmi and body fat than I do. It makes me wonder why they can function normal at a low weight but I cannot. I've been battling some intense body image struggles as a result and have spent a lot of time analyzing old pictures of myself when I was at my low weight. Yes I'm 20lbs heavier than I used to be but with that I have gained much more freedom and peace in my daily life. Should I really trade that just to say that I have a low BMI? I don't think so. I told two of my friends about it which helped and I'm planning to do a body image support group type thing and possible go back to counseling. 

Also here are some pinny pin pins from pintrest just for fun: